What Happens to
Marriage After the Second Coming?
A few months ago,
I received a letter from an
elderly man who had some
searching questions. He had
promised his wife before she
passed away that he would attend
church so they could be united in
Heaven. One day, after her
passing, he was thumbing through
her Bible and he came across Mark
12. This man had been married
three times and even though he
was dutifully going to church, he
was not particularly religious.
After reading Mark 12, he became
concerned about what Jesus said.
He wanted to spend eternal life
with his third wife whom he
dearly loved, but he didn’t
want anything to do with his
first two wives, even if they
made it to Heaven. He asked me to
review Mark 12 and answer some
questions. Here is the text to
which he referred: “’Teacher,’
they said, ‘Moses wrote for
us that if a man’s brother
dies and leaves a wife with no
children, the man must marry the
widow and have children for his
brother. Now there were seven
brothers. The first one married
and died without leaving any
children. The second one married
the widow, but he also died,
leaving no children. It was the
same with the third. In fact,
none of the seven left any
children. Last of all, the women
died too. At the resurrection
whose wife will she be, since the
seven were married to her?’
Jesus replied, ‘Are you not
in error because you do not know
the Scriptures or the power of
God? When the dead rise, they
will neither marry nor be given
in marriage; they will be like
angels in heaven.’”
(Mark
12:19-25)
The letter began
by asking, “If all four of
us make it to Heaven, what will
be our relationship? Will we know
each other? Will we have physical
bodies or spiritual bodies? I
know Jesus said that people will
not marry or be given in
marriage, but will previous
marriages be recognized? Will I
have to live with all three women
or the woman of my choice? Will
we be sexual beings in Heaven?
What should I expect to find if I
get there?” He closed by
saying, “Thank you in
advance for the response. Your
answers will help me decide if I
want to go to Heaven.”
I had to smile at
his final comment because this
sentiment is not that unusual.
Many people make the mistake of
weighing the value of Heaven with
an earthly mind. How can the
value and experience of eternal
life be understood unless we have
heavenly minds? How can
God’s character, God’s
love, and God’s grace and
God’s wisdom be appreciated
unless a person is born again?
Nevertheless, the man asked some
practical questions and although
the Bible does not say much about
life in the hereafter, it does
reveal certain important things.
Here is a short list:
Will we know each
other in Heaven? Yes, we will
know and recognize one another in
Heaven! Paul wrote in 1
Corinthians 13:12 “Now we
see but a poor reflection [of
the future] as [looking] in
a mirror; [however, after
Jesus gathers up the saints] then
we shall see [the glories of
God’s creation] face to
face. Now I know in part
[small snippets about eternal
life]; then I shall know
fully, even as I am fully known [by
those around me]. (Insertions
mine)
What type of
bodies will we possess? Paul
writes: “I declare to
you, brothers, that flesh and
blood cannot inherit the kingdom
of God, nor does the perishable
inherit the imperishable.” (1
Corinthians 15:50) Does this text
indicate that we will be spirits
floating around with the clouds?
No, the redeemed will not be
ghosts. They will have physical
bodies. The phrase “flesh
and blood” is an ancient
idiom. It is used sixteen times
in the NIV and five times in the
KJV. This phrase is meant to
contrast the temporal body of
fallen man (earthly order) with
the glorious order of beings that
live in Heaven (heavenly order).
Mankind is made of dirt and our
bodies are sustained by the
life-giving properties found in
our blood (Leviticus 17:11). The
term “flesh and blood”
indicates that we are of this
world, and Paul used this
well-known expression to make a
sharp distinction between
man’s present condition and the
glorious change that physically
occurs at the Second Coming.
Will we have
physical bodies in Heaven? Yes,
every saint will be given a
perfect body! Paul wrote, “Listen,
I tell you a mystery: We will not
all sleep [some saints will
be alive at the Second Coming], but
we will all be changed-in a
flash, in the twinkling of an
eye, at the last trumpet. For the
trumpet will sound, the [righteous]
dead will be raised
imperishable, and we [that
is, the living saints] will be
changed. For the perishable must
clothe itself with the
imperishable, and the moral with
immortality.” (1
Corinthians 15: 51-53, insertions
mine) Consider this contrast.
When Lazarus was resurrected form
the dead, he was not given a new
body. (John 11) However, when
Jesus was resurrected, He came
from the tomb in a new physical
body that would last forever. He
was not immediately recognizable
in this new body. (Luke 24:31;
John 20: 15, 27) The
same Jesus who ascended to
Heaven will also return to Earth!
(Acts 1:11) When Moses and Elijah
were taken to Heaven, they were
given glorious bodies. When they
descended from Heaven to meet
with Jesus on the Mount of
Transfiguration, Peter, James and
John recognized them. (Luke
9:30,31) The twenty-four elders
sitting around the throne are real
people with crowns on their
heads, redeemed from Earth.
(Revelation 4: 10, 5:9)
Furthermore, the Bible indicates
that Heaven is a physical place!
The Holy City will descend from
God out of Heaven, and the
dimensions of the Holy City are
literal! (See Revelation 21:
2-17.) I would not be surprised
to learn that Heaven (the place
of God’s Great Throne,
Headquarters of the Universe) is
located on a planet that God
moves around from place to place
as needed. If true, the Father
and the Son are always able to
“camp” close to their
children whenever they may be.
Isn’t that amazing?
Now, on to the
real concern of my friend’s
letter. What will be the
relationship between previously
married people in Heaven? This is
a double-edged question. I have a
number of dear friend’s who
suffer from a terrible sense of
loss because their life-long
spouse-their soul mate-has passed
away. I also have friends who
enjoy a sense of freedom since
the death of their spouse because
it brought a difficult marriage
to a close. Married people
understand that marriage can be
holy wedlock or wholly deadlock.
So, as we proceed, let us keep
the implication of good
marriage/bad marriage and endless
years of eternal life within
view.
Paul wrote, “…’No
eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived what God
has prepared for those who love
him-but God has revealed it to us
by his Spirit.’ The Spirit
searches all things, even the
deep things of God.” (1
Corinthians 2: 9,10)
To help us
understand the issues surrounding
this topic, I need to present a
shot parable: “One day, a
gorgeous butterfly landed beside
a caterpillar, named Glenn, who
was busy eating the last leaf on
a shrub. Even though the
caterpillar saw the butterfly, he
did not acknowledge its presence.
Eventually, the butterfly spoke.
He simply asked the caterpillar
how he was doing. The caterpillar
continued to chew because he had
nothing but contempt toward
butterflies. After a few moments
of silence, the butterfly flew to
a position directly in front of
the caterpillar to confront him.
This time the butterfly said,
“Glenn, I’m your
brother, Randy! Don’t you
recognize me? I’ve been
transformed into a butterfly and
I have come back home to see how
you are doing.” Glenn
snapped back, “Well, good
for you! Why don’t you run
along and leave me alone.”
The butterfly said, “Glenn,
I have come to tell you that
someday you will become a
butterfly. You will soar with the
wind and gather nectar from
beautiful flowers! You won’t
live as a hairy caterpillar forever.”
The caterpillar responded,
“I don’t want to become
a butterfly. Butterflies
don’t eat shrubs, and I love
shrubs. Besides, butterflies
don’t live very long. Have
you ever looked at car bumpers or
under hoods of cars? They are
full of dead butterflies. Nope, I
love going to caterpillar parties
and eating everything in sight. I
enjoy dancing and drinking and I
really enjoy cocoon parties.
Floating around in the sky as
‘bird food”
doesn’t appeal to me. So,
good-bye and don’t mention
the subject to me again.”
The moral of this
parable is this: The caterpillar
and butterfly are the same
insect. The caterpillar
represents our present earthly
condition and the butterfly
represents our heavenly condition
after we are changed at
the Second Coming. Many people
dislike the ways of God because
they have the caterpillar
mindset, the earthly mind. God
has purposefully kept mankind
from knowing very much about the
glorious form of life that is
coming because there is no
similarity between the life of a
caterpillar and that of a
butterfly, even though they are
the same creature! In other
words, how can caterpillars get
excited about life as a butterfly
if their affections are centered
on the things caterpillars do?
Heavenly minded people know this
world is not our home! Heavenly
minded people are caterpillars
with butterfly minds-waiting
their butterfly body!
A few years ago, a
recently married young woman said
to me, “If my husband
doesn’t make it to Heaven, I
don’t want to go!” On
another occasion, a young married
confided to me, “If there is
no sex in Heaven, I really
don’t want to go!” My
response to both individuals was
the same. You say these things
because you have an earthly mind.
If God took you to Heaven and
replaced your marriage and/or
your sexuality with something
better, you would not want to
come back here. The young man
thought about it for a moment and
said, “What could be better
than sex?” I said, “You
err, not knowing the power or the
plans of God for His children.
Since the Bible
does not answer every question we
may have about the future, I will
close this discussion by making
two comments. First, after
studying the ways of God for
almost 17 years, I have no doubt
that eternal life will be more
glorious and all of our
relationships more fulfilling
than anything experienced on
Earth. Second, I suspect the
redeemed of all ages will live
together as one family-as though
we were all married to each
other. By removing the issues of
sexuality and sinful
propensities, sinless people will
be able to progress through
intimate relationships throughout
eternity without violating God or
themselves; and each relationship
will ennoble and enrich each
saint. God’s family is huge
and every saint will have
billions of delightful and loving
companions. I think it is safe to
assume that each saint will also
have favorite relationships for a
few million years and these
favorites may change from age to
age, and from assignment to
assignment. I think this is how
the angels presently live. This
arrangement would keep life very
interesting and very satisfying.
We can be assured of this- that
there will be joy and happiness
in Heaven. There will be no place
for marital discord. Doesn’t
this sound like Heaven?
