Have I Committed the
Unpardonable Sin?
Here is a short
response from a man who thought he
might have committed the unpardonable
sin. In June 2007, I had a spiritual
awakening. At the time, I was living
with my girlfriend and we enjoyed
“the good life.” Both of us
had good jobs and no obligations. For
us, the good life revolved around
frequent parties and social drinking
(sometimes with heavy drinking). We
lived for the weekends, we both took
cruises and vacationed in nice places
every chance we got. We had a number
of friends who lived fast and loose
as we did and there was little
thought about God or the future. We
zipped through a lot of money buying
stuff and having a good time. One
day, while driving to work, I became
depressed. I suddenly felt condemned.
I don’t know what caused this,
bait a strong impression came out of
the clear blue sky because I had not
had a religious thought for several
years. I had been raised with
church-going parents, but I displaced
church with friends and social
activities while in college. I
didn’t feel that I needed to
continue with the religious
traditions of my parents. Besides, my
understanding of God was as good as
theirs. But during that morning
drive, I was overcome with a very
strong sense of condemnation –
that God was angry with me. The
intensity of this personal revelation
both surprised and scared me.
That night, I told my
girlfriend about this and she asked
if I was getting religious. I said,
“No, but I do believe in
God.” She said, “Well, I
believe in God, too,” and that
was all she said. For the next three
months I tried to go on living as
usual, but I became increasingly
uneasy and edgy about doing things
that I knew were wrong in God’s
sight. Finally, I knew in my heart
that I had to stop being a hypocrite.
I had to align my behavior with my
conscious. So, I gathered up my
courage and told my girlfriend that
some changes were necessary. She said
that she had noticed a change in me
and that we really needed “to
clear the air.” I was totally
honest. I told her that I could not
continue going to bars and
participate in the drinking parties.
I also told her that our sexual
relationship would have to end until
we were married. She exploded. She
screamed, “You have become a
religious fanatic!” She shredded
me with ridicule. I tired to explain
my feelings, but she didn’t want
to hear them. She said she was hurt
and felt abandoned. She told me that
if I was going to be a priest she
didn’t want anything to do with
me. To top it off, she told me if I
was going to be a religious fanatic,
there was nothing left of
“us.” I wasn’t
prepared for her rejection. There was
no reasoning. After a couple of weeks
more living together as strangers and
trying to get around her anger, I
told her that I thought it best that
I move out. She agreed.
Two months have passed
and I am still heartsick. We’re
farther apart than ever. I have
called her several times, but we are
not on the same page. She has told
our friends that I have become a
religious fanatic. This is not true
for I do not even attend church. (I
didn’t know which church to
attend. I was searching the Internet
for some religious information and
this is how I found your website.)
She knows that I still love her and I
want to marry her, but she will not
stop ridiculing me. She told me that
she had no intension of staying away
from bars and she continues to party
with our old friends. The “straw
that broke the camel’s
back” happened the other day. I
learned that she is now living with a
guy we used to party with. This
crushed me because I had hoped that
she would appreciate my efforts to do
what is right. I have lost the love
of my life. I have also lost most of
my friends. I am very lonely and I
don’t know what to do about
this. Losing her has broken my heart.
Has God forsaken me? Have I committed
the unpardonable sin? It would be
horrible to lose my girlfriend and
still end up in hell. In fact, it
feels as though I am already in Hell.
Can you help? Thanks
____________________________________________________________
Dear friend,
Thank you for your
open and honest e-mail. Before I
respond to your question, I want to
say that sincerely admire your
willingness to do what is right
– no matter what. At the moment,
your faith in God is being challenged
and He is purifying your faith with a
refiner’s fire (Revelation 3:18)
Because I believe He has a special
calling for you. You are momentarily
facing three powerful challenges and
if you stand firm in your resolve to
do what is right, you will overcome
the present adversity and you will be
richly blessed. In short, God is
putting you through this set of
challenges because He wants to give
you a richly rewarding life of
service. Please let me explain:
1.
Isolation: When a person chooses
to honor God by doing what he
believes is right, sooner or later he
experiences isolation. Jesus said, “Enter
through the narrow gate. For wide is
the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction, and
many enter through it. But
small is the gate and narrow the road
that leads to life, and
only a few find it.” (Matthew
7:13,14) In your case, the isolation
is severe because you have lost your
network of friends, including your
best friend, your girlfriend.
Currently, you have no developed
Christian friends who can replace
your hedonistic friends. Worst of
all, in losing your girlfriend, you
have lost an intimate, best friend
who was your confidant. Therefore,
you are highly vulnerable to
returning to your old lifestyle to
have a social life. But hang on.
Stand firm. There is a way out of
this situation.
2.
Ridicule: People following the
Holy Spirit are never on the same
page with people who are not. “Those
who live according to the sinful
nature have their minds set on what
that nature desires; but those who
live in accordance with the Spirit
have their minds set on what the
Spirit desires. The mind of sinful
man is death, but the mind controlled
by the Spirit is life and peace; the
sinful mind is hostile to God. It
does not submit to God’s law,
nor can it do so.” (Romans
8:5-7) In other words, your
girlfriend’s hostility –
manifested as ridicule and rejection
– is consistent with Paul’s
remarks. Here’s the problem: “The
man [or woman] without the
Spirit does not accept the things
that come from the Spirit of God, for
they are foolishness to him, and he
cannot understand them, because they
are spiritually discerned.” (1
Corinthians 2:14) Your friends cannot
understand your spiritual awakening
because it is spiritually discerned.
To them, you look like a religious
fanatic. They ask themselves,
“Who in his right mind would
give up a sexy girlfriend, stop going
to parties and having a good time,
except a religious fanatic?”
Since you are the only person within
your old network of friends who is
doing what you are doing, you will be
tempted to return to your old ways to
avoid ridicule. But Hang on. Stand
firm. There is a away out of this
situation.
3.
Emptiness: Right now you are
particularly vulnerable to isolation
and ridicule, but you hare faces with
one more challenge that you need to
understand. At this point in time,
you have not received your mission
and purpose from God. You have shown
a great deal of resolve to do what is
right in God’s sight
(hallelujah!), but doing right for
the sake of doing right does not
maintain a high level of
satisfaction. Even more, doing right
for the purpose of avoiding hell is
not very satisfying, either. At this
point in time you appear to be an
empty vessel awaiting further
direction from God. When you were
living without God in your life, you
filled your life with the things
the carnal nature desires. Notice
what Paul wrote, “The acts of
the sinful nature are obvious: sexual
immorality, impurity and debauchery;
idolatry and witchcraft; hatred,
discord, jealousy, fits of rage,
selfish ambition, dissensions,
factions and envy; drunkenness,
orgies, and the like. I warn you, as
I did before, that those who live
like this will not inherit the
kingdom of God.” (Galatians
5:19-21) Now that you are living for
God, you have to wait on God! Soon,
God will give you a
“purpose-driven life.” So,
right now your emptiness is severe
and you are highly vulnerable to
returning to your old ways to enjoy
the gratification that came form the
“good life.” But hang on,
my friend! Stand firm. God has called
you to a far better life that you can
imagine. He has a special mission for
you.
Putting the Pieces
Together
You asked if God has
abandoned you. No. No. No! Your old
friends have abandoned you. The
awakening you experienced is from
God. The Holy Spirit profoundly
troubled you with a realization of
where you were headed. God knows your
honesty and He is thrilled that you
have responded to His call. I believe
that God has focused on you for a
specific reason, just like God
focused on Samuel, David, Jeremiah,
and Paul for specific reasons. I do
not know what this reason is, but it
will become clear “as day”
as God unfolds His plan for your
life. My friend, you are closer to
God than you have ever been. Choosing
to live in harmony with what you know
of God’s will is not easy
because the ways of God stand in
opposition to the ways of the world.
John wrote, “Do not love the
world or anything in the
world. If anyone loves the
world, the love of the Father is not
in him. For everything in the world
– the cravings of sinful man,
the lust of his eyes and the boasting
of what he has and does – comes
not from the Father but from the
world. The world and its desires pass
away, but the man who does the will
of God lives forever.” (1
John 2:15-17)
Here are four
strategies that will help you
overcome isolation, ridicule, and
emptiness. (Please modify these as
necessary since I do not know your
whole story.)
1. Ask
God to heal your broken heart over
your girlfriend, and if you allow
Him, He will. Look closely at
the facts: She has rejected you
because of your change in behavior.
She has made it clear that she does
not want to stop going to bars and
parties and she has demonstrated her
contempt for you by living with
another male. Obviously, she has
moved on with her life and so
should you. Ask God each day for
emotional healing and the strength to
let her go. For what it’s worth,
statistics indicate that live-in
relationships do not endure. Having a
party animal for a spouse does not
bode well for an enduring marriage.
2. Seek
out a church to attend because you
will not last long in your resolve to
live right without having some
Christian fellowship. “No man is
an island.” I suggest that you
start church hunting. If you do not
find meaningful Christian fellowship
in one church, then widen the circle
until you do. Remember this:
Salvation is not church specific.
Salvation comes through faith in
Christ alone. Therefore, you should
feel free to worship and fellowship
with any number of Christian groups
for a while and this will help
immensely to lessen your isolation
and ridicule. You need Christians
friends, my new friend, I will say it
again, “You need Christian
friends.”
3.
Perhaps the most important thing I
can offer is this: Determine in your
heart to study and understand
God’s Word. There is nothing on
Earth like the Bible. I used the
phrase “determine in your
heart” because the worst
mistake you can make is to think
that reading the Bible is the same
thing as studying the Bible.
Millions of Christians read their
Bibles thinking this will bring them
closer to God. It does not work. If
you really want to walk with God and
know Him, then you must study the
Bible until you clearly
understand what God is saying to you
through each passage. This quest for
Bible truth will bring you closer to
God. Studying the Bible takes periods
of quiet time and a lot of
determination. If you will put forth
the requisite effort, God will bless
you with understanding of Truth that
will never stop inspiring you! “And
without faith it is impossible to
please God, because anyone who comes
to him must believe that he exists
and that he rewards those who
earnestly seek him.”
(Hebrews 11:6)
4. It
seems evident to me that the Holy
Spirit has awakened you for a
specific purpose. You were headed in
the wrong direction, but there is
much more to salvation than avoiding
hell. You have responded, at
considerable cost, to the prompting
of the Holy Spirit. This proves
that you have not committed the
unpardonable sin. On the
contrary, you are following the
Spirit! God has not forsaken you;
rather God is preparing you for an
exciting ministry of some kind. I do
not know about your education,
talents, abilities or interests, but
God does. If you remain faithful to
God and continue to grow in grace and
in an understanding of His truth, God
will direct you into a situation
where all of your education,
talents, abilities and interests will
combine into joyful service. A
ministry received is far more
valuable than a ministry achieved.
It may take the Lord a few years to
get you prepared for “His
calling,” but He will put you
where He wants you when He knows
that you are ready for Prime Time!
In closing, be
encouraged! You are experiencing what
Abraham experienced. You are called.
You left your friends and girlfriend
behind to follow this calling. You
are in a social desert, having no
friends; but you will learn that out
in the desert, a soft-spoken God
becomes your dearest friend. I am
praying the Lord will give you wisdom
and strength to stand firm and
overcome these challenges. Believe it
or not, God knows the number of hair
on your head, my friend, and He knows
the plan He has for you. Please keep
me informed on your progress. The
world has yet to see what God and
you, working together in perfect
harmony, can do!
